are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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