i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
