im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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