The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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