i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
