she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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