ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
