SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize