Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
