What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
