Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
