You're completely useless in the revolution.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
