dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
