she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
