he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
