just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
