Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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