Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
