oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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