Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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