Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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