So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
