she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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