My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
