So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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