Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
