Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
