dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
