Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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