Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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