Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm jealous of your bromance
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
