here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
