If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
