do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your penis caused this!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
