I heard we made out
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They have beer where we have blood.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
