We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
