just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My pussy is not your playground.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
