Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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