I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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