Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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