have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
