Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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