if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
