i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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