I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize