i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you didnt know i had herpes?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
