I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
