i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
