I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You pole danced in your parka.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
