I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Screwed.edu
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize