Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
