i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize