I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
