margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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