your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
