Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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