East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
