have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
