Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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