doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
