thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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