could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
